My smile and genuine zest for life are representative of how I feel almost all of the time, but I was not always this way. After I transitioned to using a wheelchair more often than not (about two years ago), I was sad and frustrated just about every day. It was hard to get used to the changes I was facing as a result of my physical decline in my lower legs (and then some). However, I knew I had to tackle the feelings of sadness and frustration to get where I wanted to be mentally, and I DID!!!
I am writing this entry to share what has helped me cope with life's difficulties on my own.
To be completely transparent, I am not depressed or suicidal, but I expressed for years through tears I did not want to live this way. It's freaking HARD to have a disability. I did not understand how hard until I was faced with one. The irony of being at the level of disability I am at is I have a lot of company instead of being alone as I had been for so many years battling multiple sclerosis that looked different on me than almost everyone I know with the same diagnosis. For that reason, I do NOT feel sorry for myself at all nor do I feel alone.
Since my transition into a wheelchair happened to coincide with the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, I took advantage of time where no one was doing much in the way of going out and decided to work on myself.
