Posts

Some Houses Are Worth Reopening

Nearly twenty years ago, I started this blog. Back then, blogging was just what people did. Somehow, this little corner of the internet survived everything that came after. If you’ve been here before, welcome back. If you’re new here, welcome. Either way, come on in. Evidently this blog and I have reached an understanding. Every few years one of us looks at the other and says, “We’re not done yet.” Over the last twenty years, I hope I’ve changed in all the ways that matter. I also hope I haven’t changed in the ones that don’t. I’ve always been curious. I’ve always loved stories. And apparently, I’ve always been willing to write about my life, sometimes with more honesty than was probably advisable. If you decide to wander through the archives, proceed at your own risk. Those posts span nearly twenty years of my life. They’re an honest snapshot of who I was at the time. Some will make me laugh. Some will probably make me cringe. I’m leaving them exactly as they are. Life, however,...
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"How are you?" or "Are You Okay?" to that I Respond, "Are you stuck?" 😏

As a person with extensive physical limitations, I am often asked, "How are you?" and/or "Are you okay?".   I need help understanding what type of response to provide to this question. I am okay in many ways and then not also in many ways. That is no different than any other human I know. Here's the catch: people expect only positive responses in my world. When I respond truthfully, I get the look or verbal responses roughly translating to "SHUT THE HELL UP!". More often than not, I should be asking you, "Are you okay?" or better yet, "Are you stuck?". That is because I am finally living how I want to live when so many are not.   Some questions for you... 1. Are you living the life you want? 2. Do you have partners/friends that make your life happy and healthy? 3. Do you like to explore and learn? If not, why? 4. Do you like your job? 5. Are you healthy? If you cannot answer these questions positively, please do not ask me if I am o...
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You Can Imagine

For my entire life, I have heard the expression, "I can't imagine...".  The thing is, we CAN imagine.  People say that as a response to something they deem as pretty terrible when they are listening and want to convey something like, "WOW, THAT SUCKS SO BAD."  instead of saying, "I can imagine. Do you want to share how bad things are?"  That's what I want to do!!! However, in small doses.  I WANT TO BE HEARD. I have a CHRONIC problem.  It will not go away and is always with me, and it is BAD.   Unfortunately, my issues are not the most popular conversation topics, and almost everybody thinks they should shut me down and tell me how lucky I am when I start talking.  I get into arguments trying to convince friends and strangers that things are NOT great.  Then the solution ideas start coming.  What if you did _________?  How about trying  _________ ? You really need to  _________ .  How do so many people know what ...
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BRUTAL: Punishably Hard or Uncomfortable

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The word "brutal" describes my life and that of my spouse over the last two years.  However, when we have attempted to say how bad things are, it does not resonate with anyone because we do not look the part of two people slogging through the hardest years of their lives.   We are moving back home next month after a little over two years since we started our home remodel in late 2020 and moved out to our temporary home, GRACIOUSLY provided by my father, on February 6, 2021.  We consider ourselves LUCKY, and we have had a TON of HELP from more than a few people, so we are GRATEFUL, but we do not want those feelings to overshadow the full experience. BRUTAL:  I continue to decline physically, and at this point, I have lost about 60-75% of my ability to physically function as a "normal" human. It is hard for everyone, including me, to understand that there is nothing more I can do to help myself over everything I already do, which is OVERWHELMING.  BRUTAL:...
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Odds and Ends

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This is my fourth blog post for 2022 and possibly the last one for a while. There is one main reason for this: I write to help others and have fun, but I would like to figure out other ways to do this. I am not ready to delve into pure content creation, but maybe something close to that.                                                                                                                          This quote is everything to me. I have entered the "True enlightenment" phase of my life! " Enlightenment is when you finally see you're screwed. True enlightenment is when you see you're screwed, and you're okay with that." -Gary John Bishop           ...
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NO EXCUSES

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This "short and sweet" post is inspired by the quote below from the page-a-day calendar "UNFU*CK YOURSELF" by Gary John Bishop. " Who or what have you blamed for your life being the way it has been?  Maybe your life was turbulent and upsetting when you were growing up, or perhaps it was boring and uneventful.  The thing is, there are plenty of people who grew up in similar situations who haven't turned out anything like you ." This quote encapsulates one of my life mottos, " Do NOT make excuses! " To say, "I cannot stand excuses." is a significant understatement.  As the quotes below state, you will not accomplish anything if you make excuses. You do not need to be the best; you just need to do "it"!  You can talk and make excuses until you are "blue in the face," but action is the only way to get results. We live in a world of people struggling to survive.  The antidote to struggling is solutions (with an emphas...
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My Personal Coping Mechanisms for Life to Keep My Head in a Postive Space

My smile and genuine zest for life are representative of how I feel almost all of the time, but I was not always this way.  After I transitioned to using a wheelchair more often than not (about two years ago), I was sad and frustrated just about every day.  It was hard to get used to the changes I was facing as a result of my physical decline in my lower legs (and then some).  However, I knew I had to tackle the feelings of sadness and frustration to get where I wanted to be mentally, and I DID!!! I am writing this entry to share what has helped me cope with life's difficulties on my own.   To be completely transparent, I am not depressed or suicidal, but I expressed for years through tears I did not want to live this way.  It's freaking HARD to have a disability.  I did not understand how hard until I was faced with one.  The irony of being at the level of disability I am at is I have a lot of company instead of being alone as I had been for so m...
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