Don't Laugh. It's Not Funny. It's My Life.

Well, my graceful self struck again. This is not that funny, but typical, so I'm sharing. Here's what happened. I returned home from some afternoon errand running today. I got out of my car, which I had parked in my apartment parking garage and took my Starbucks iced latte with me. I walked up to the door that allows me entry into the hallway leading to my apartment. Just as I was walking through the door, one of my neighbors was leaving. Unfortunately for me, he didn't leave fast enough. I walked around my neighbor slowly and then slipped on the polished concrete floor (it is raining today) and went down fast. This time rather than falling forward as I normally do, I fell backwards onto my hip, so that I landed with my body sprawled on the floor. Luckily the contents of my purse did not empty themselves, I didn't spill my coffee, and my back was to the neighbor. There was an awkward moment of silence as I sat on the floor (car payment plus shiny blue snakeskin boots un...

I just saw Match Point with some friends at The Angelika. It was a very good movie, but also disturbing. After the movie I was excited to get to my car because it was cold and misting outside and I wanted to get home to prepare for an interview I have tomorrow morning. I got to my car, which was parked in a spot close to theater. I was a bit concerned about the spot as it was a tight one and I thought one of my doors would get dinged. When I returned to my car the doors appeared to be just as they were when I left them (yippy!). I got in my car and started to move towards the parking lot exit. I decided to check my messages on my cell phone as I was driving out. My sweet little mother called to ask how I was doing. I called my parent’s house to return their call just as I was turning left from Mockingbird to go south on Central. My parents weren’t home so I left a message saying that I just saw Match Point. I believe it was right as the name of the movie was coming out of my...

I went shopping at Central Market today and they had chips and salsa for sampling. I, of course, had to have some. I accidentally knocked a column of cups to put the salsa in on to the floor as I was trying to get salsa into my cup. They went everywhere. I had to pick them all up as others were coming to get samples (the table was unattended). People just looked at me with funny expressions on their face while I was crouched on the floor picking up my mess. I tried to make friendly funny comments to them, but I ended up talking to myself.

I was at Nordstrom NorthPark yesterday getting a massage (I was the very lucky recipient of Nordstrom’s spa gift card for Christmas.). For those of you that know me well, which I believe most of you do, I could not resist the urge to shop after my massage was over and I was released into the store. I have been so good. I haven’t bought any clothes since the beginning of November. However, before I could make it down to the shoe department (I didn’t buy any shoes!!!!!! Can you believe it????) I was held captive on the second floor. The lights were bright and the clothes were sparkling (lots of sequins), I just could not leave without looking, which leads me to my story. I purchased this really cute white cotton ¾ length sleeved, v-neck T-shirt with beautiful beaded and sequined birds, flowers, and a horse shoe in hues of pinks, blues, purples, and greens and the words “Good Luck” on it. Everyone knows that I could use as much good luck as possible right now, so I had to buy the shirt (N...

Over the years I have had a number of sober accidents. A few of you may know about some of them. There was the “Fan Wax” incident of ’02, “Oops the Sidewalk Ended” of ’03, and “Heel in Cuff” of ’05 just to name a few. Well, I have had my first sober, painful accident of ’06 and it involved skipping. Apparently one should not skip ever if one is clumsy (Pam – Do you remember your skipping incident “No zapatos para me?”) Anyway, I was happily watching television on the couch in my living room and had just finished eating a delicious Weight Watchers fudge bar (I like to eat mine in a bowl with a spoon. It’s more fun that way. These fudge bars are quite good. You should go out and get some for yourself). The fudge bar was so delicious and I decided I needed a second. I was in such a great mood that I leapt right off the couch with my bowl and spoon in hand and began to skip to the kitchen. Unfortunately this did not last long. I was barefooted skipping from my couch to the kitchen and my E...