Blumderful Day

Listing of this morning's Blumders:

• Drove into a parking garage that I could only valet in, but thought I could self park. Valet drivers gave me a strange look when I blew past them.

• Drove in circles in the parking garage and saw only reserved spaces.

• Exited the parking garage and entered a $4.00 parking lot across the street from the building where my client is located.

• Drove around the parking lot for a good five minutes looking for a space (now five minutes late to my 9:00 AM meeting).

• Asked parking lot attendant if there were any spaces he pointed to a corner of the lot and said a woman was leaving. I never saw a woman or a vacant spot.

• E-mail client to say I was having parking issues.

• Left lot located on a one-way street and could not get back to the building parking garage with the valet. I had to drive up two blocks, turn right, and then right and then come back on the original street.

• Entered original parking garage and valeted. Now over 10 minutes late to meeting.

• One minute after exiting car, realized I left my cell phone in the car (I thought I would need it.). I asked the valet if he could get it. My car had already been driven away, but they said, no problem.

• At about 9:20 AM, I had my phone and was able to go to the client's office, which I was officially in at 9:23 AM.

• I apologized to the client for being late and said it was due to a series of really dumb decisions and then proceeded to fill them in on the brilliance that is my ability to make decisions.  They laughed, but I wonder if it was out of pity.

My Cheap Dress Made My Right Armpit Stink: A very short story by ClumpyCarton3

Yesterday, after a lunch break during a training session I was conducting (and no, I am not a trainer by trade), I sat in front of my trainees about to continue with our meeting when I smelled something like a sandwich with onions or like the occasional runner who passes by you whose scent makes you gag.  I looked around for nearby trashcans, but didn’t see any.  I discretely sniffed the air around me and could not figure out what this foreign smell was and then, horrified, recognized it was my right armpit.  A little known fact about me:  my armpits do not sweat.  Therefore, I was really shocked by the offensive odor emanating from my right armpit. I determined there could only be one possible explanation for this.  It had to  be the cheap dress I was wearing.  Lesson learned.  If you wear a cheap dress, it is inevitable your right armpit will be stinky.